Mojo = Found.

Mama's got her groove back! That's right. I'm not sure what happened, or how it happened, but I finally got my mind right this past weekend. It is a good thing too because even though the desire was there, the motivation for action was not. The stressful work stuff did play a HUGE role in completely psyching me out, as did the "I just ran a race! I need time off!" mentality. I didn't want to waste any more time. I realized that my personal fitness goals are the most important thing to me and one of the places where I derive the most joy and satisfaction, so by NOT doing them, I was adding more stress to my life. Needless to say The Autonomy Project is now completely underway. In fact, I feel so back into it that it feels like I never skipped a beat or took two months off at all! (um, except for the fact that I now run slow as shit...)

So here is my schedule, in all its glory, hanging on the bulletin board in my office. The best satisfaction comes from highlighting each day upon completion of the day's workout.

After the inaugural Trail Run Club run Sunday I sat down and mapped out my daily workouts from now 'til the end of the year. The focus for the next 3 months will be the NFEC 13.1 trail run, with a double minor in cycling and weight training. The cycling is training for the Kickapoo Dam Challenge October 3rd which is like a sprint tri, but with canoing rather than swimming. (The bike portion is like, 15 miles of hills, which brings back painful memories of Devil's Lake.)

The weight training is because it's my most favorite and brings the best results, plus I want to get in the habit of it for my Nov/Dec focus which is all heavy weights fat-blasting cardio, with no focus on endurance sports. I will do some run intervals for cardio, and I want to keep up with running so I can jump into February outside runs and gear up for the local fun runs like Shamrock Shuffle and Crazylegs with ease.

Hah! Check out my blurry (thanks iPhone) zoom-in on race day-- and the day after reward...Spa day! :) ------------->


In other exciting news, I've signed up as a volunteer for Ironman WI this year. I chose what I wanted to help out with based on the location and time of the options available. I ended up picking to be on the run course at the corner of State and the Overture Center, because I can ride my bike there, plus the time is ideal- 12:30-4:00 PM, so I can get my long run in in the morning before spending the rest of the day being awed and inspired by amazing people.

So this evening has been spent making up another batch of delicious bok choy chicken salad, a recipe I copied from the Willy Street Co-op deli. I just read the ingredient label, and recreated it myself. It will be perfect for lunches the rest of the week. My dinner tonight is salmon, sweet potato fries, and asparagus:biggity bam!

Clean eating is fantastic, it just takes time to prepare. Besides always pairing a good carb with a protein, another key is to eat small meals several times a day (about every 2.5 hours) to keep your body's metabolism burning. This works so much better than just 3 meals or less, it makes your body a fat burning furnace. Plus it stabilizes your insulin levels throughout the day so you don't get that late afternoon dip. I really love the energy it gives me- not like the life-draining refined foods.

Here's my basic menu this week:

8:00 AM Breakfast: 1/4 cup oatmeal, 4 egg whites, 1 yolk

10:45 AM Pre Workout Meal: 1 peach, 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese mixed with a scoop of protein powder and flax seed meal.

1:15 PM Post Workout Meal : salmon, yams, veggies (sauted zucchini, eggplant, and spinach)

3:45 PM Late Lunch: Bok Choy Chicken Salad, or celery with PB

7:00 PM: Chicken or Fish, and veggies.

9:15 PM Protein shake, maybe sugar-free jello.

There's lots of flex room and constant fine tuning and experimenting. I taper my carbohydrates, meaning I eat the bulk of them early in the day for energy and to help boost my workouts, and immediately following my workout for restoring my glycogen stores. Some people can get away with more carbs than I can, but my body hates them.

Please enjoy one of my favorite songs to workout to, not to mention hilarious video, here.

Madison Trail Running Club

I signed up to participate in The North Face Endurance Challenge today. 13.1 miles in the Kettle Morraine State Forest. Should be fun, and tough as hell. I can't wait. The race is October 24th, which means a solid 12 week training program would start July 27th. I created a facebook group called Madison Trail Running Club and I'm going to be putting together organized training runs. I trained for Shamrock Shuffle, Crazy Legs, and the Madison (half) Marathon all solo. I want to see what it is like to group run a bit.

Moving Along

When M asked me to go to Breckenridge, Colorado over the 4th of July weekend with him, I jumped at the chance. I spent a big chunk of my childhood out west, I love the mountains! Since he was going for work, all it would cost me was my plane ticket, and incidentals. Car rental and hotel were on the house.

I should have known it was a bad idea. Four days in a row with an ex-boyfriend who is still kinda your best friend because gosh, you're not seeing anyone, and well, neither is he... but you've broken up like 4 times already because you're a fucking train wreck together.....................OY!

I don't regret going, so I don't want to make it sound like that. It was beautiful and I love any adventure so it was fun in that sense. It was bad because I was being selfish by going. I know better. M and I have spent some good times together over the past 2+ years, but our tumultuous off-again-on-again, I-hate-you-but-you're-like-family-to-me, I'm-bored-wanna-go-to-dinner, relationship needs to get the final stake it its neck and be buried for good.

It should mean something that we always get along best when we're drinking together. Sad, but true. Sober, we argue like old nags. He's calculated and methodical, slow, and careful. He thinks things through. My mind races a million words a minute, I'm spontaneous, loud (at times), lively, and quick. Bull in a china shop. or....unicorn in a wildflower field. I like to be challenged, surrounded with quick wit and hearty laughter sprinkled with spicy spontaneity. Though differences in a significant other are good if they are complimentary, we just didn't mesh well.


Moment after moment during the trip I found myself frustrated with M, judging him, annoyed by his actions and choices, just being reassured as to why I don't ever want to be his girlfriend. I seriously wondered how he had made it this far in life so far. Ok, in his defense he is a kind-hearted person who deserves someone who can appreciate his style and nuances, not be annoyed by them. I don't have the answers why we can't just get along, but I could write a 300 page book analyzing it.


It's almost humorous how since we work together and live only 2 blocks away from ea other, we've managed to keep slipping back into some form of togetherness. There's that comfortability factor with he and I that is hard to replace (though I'm never really myself around him, there is a familiarity; a comfort level thats just so empty and easy). We've gone weeks, and months without talking, I've even had full-blown other relationships during our break-ups, and then *BAM* its 90 degrees out and my apartment has no A/C, but his does so its "hey, mind if I come over" then its "wanna go to Breckenridge with me" then its "OMG, we're arguing about stupid shit again!" ugh. So unhealthy.

I did a lot of soul searching staring at those mountains. When he dropped me off at my house yesterday we gave each other a long hug. A thank-you, for being my family for these past few years....a good luck in whats to come....and an understanding that neither one of us is ever going to get anywhere wasting time being unhappy together. We're moving on.

Vacation, Excuses

I'm currently sitting at the Dane county airport waiting to board my flight to Denver. I'm spending the weekend in Breckenridge, Colorado, which I've never been to but heard great things about. It should be a nice extended weekend.

Work is continually stressing me out, though I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook and continue to do a good job. There's just a lot going on. The world of HR is heavy on policy and paperwork. Boring! Besides that all of my friends who are leaving the company due to the reorginization are going to be missed. Makes me do some soul searching too. Have I been in this one-horse town too long? Wouldn't it be great to move to another country for 2 or 3 years, and work and live and learn; totally immerse yourself in another culture and expand your mind? I'm toting with lots of ideas right now. I think it is important that I never become stagnant. I need to remain ambitious and moving towards the stars.

So I haven't started my official cutting diet and fitness routine yet. I really don't have and valid excuses except for work stress making me too mentally drained to expend the energy, and I like drinking beer in the summer. Plus it would have been silly to start before vacation, only to abandon it for 4 days. So I'm dubbing 7-7-09 as the official start date. I just need to get my mind right, so that's what I've been doing. Once I get started, it going to be an obsession so my social activities will change too. "Who wants an ice water!" I've also been fighting some typical (for me) down-in-the-dumps feelings for the past 8 weeks or so, and anyone who can relate can probably relate to how that affects things.

One day at a time. But not so chalant that life passes you by. As unromantic as it sounds,I think some kind of goals and plans are necessary, otherwise you'll wake up one day and be old with regrets. Maybe, maybe not.